Jess: Oh my god! It's my husband.
Nicky: Whoa!
Jared: Give me one reason why I shouldn't do it.
Nicky: I'm drawing a blank.
Jared: What?
Jess: He's onto us.
Nicky: First of all, you've gotta wait until she gets my pants off and then you gotta give me a chance to run. That's how you get the money. Never drop the con. Die with the lie.
Jess: Then why'd you come up here?
Nicky: Professional curiosity and I like boobs. I figured it was a win-win.

There's two kinds of people in this world. There's hammers and there's nails. You decide which one you want to be. There's no room for heart in this game. It will get you killed.


Jess: What about the big con?
Nicky: Oh, you mean the one where we make so much money we all retire?

At the end of the day, this is a game of focus.


[shouting] Where are the black people?


Robert Clayton Dean: I was shopping for some lingerie. That's still legal, isn't it?
David Pratt: Were you buying that for your wife?
Robert Clayton Dean: No I was picking something up for myself, I do a little cross dressing on the weekends. You know, you'd be surprised how a nice pair of edible panties can make a guy feel sexy.

I'm the first man in the door and the last man to leave.

Mike Lowery

[to Dr. Lanning's cat] Look, I understand you have experienced a loss, but this relationship just can't work. I mean, you're a cat. I'm black. I'm not going to be hurt again.

Detective Del Spooner

Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.


Gordon, when you tell this story to your grandkids, you be sure to leave this part out.

Capt. James West

Unlimited technology from the whole universe, and we cruise 'round in a Ford P.O.S.


[suited up] You know what the difference is between you and me? I make this look GOOD.


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