Don Lockwood: Cosmo, call me a cab.
Cosmo Brown: OK, you're a cab.

Cosmo Brown: Talking pictures, that means I'm out of a job. At last I can start suffering and write that symphony.
R.F. Simpson: You're not out of job, we're putting you in as head of our new music department.
Cosmo Brown: Oh, thanks, R.F.! At last I can stop suffering and write that symphony.

What do they think I am? Dumb or something? Why, I make more money than - than - than Calvin Coolidge! Put together!

Lina Lamont

Make 'em laugh!

Cosmo Brown

Kathy Selden: Now look, Miss Lamont, Don and I...
Lina Lamont: Don? Don't you dare call him Don! I was calling him Don before you were born! I mean... You-you were kissing him!
Don Lockwood: I was kissing her! I happen to be in love with her.
Lina Lamont: That's ridiculous. Everybody knows you're in love with me.

Don Lockwood: What's your lofty mission in life that lets you sneer at my humble profession?
Kathy Selden: I'm an actress...
Don Lockwood: Oh...
Kathy: ...on the stage.
Don Lockwood: Oh, on the stage, well I'd like to see you act, what are you in right now? I could brush up on my English, or bring along an interpreter, that is if they'd let in a "movie" actor.
Kathy Selden: I'm not in a play right now, but I will be. I'm going to New York...
Don Lockwood: Oh, you're going to New York and then some day we'll all hear of you, won't we? Kathy Selden as Juliet, as Lady Macbeth, as King Lear. You'll have to wear a beard for that one of course.
Kathy Selden: Laugh all you want, but at least the stage is a dignified profession.
Don Lockwood: [scoffing] Dignified profession.
Kathy: What do you have to be so conceited about? You're nothing but a shadow on film... just a shadow. You're not flesh and blood.
Don Lockwood: Oh, no?
[moves amorously towards her]
Kathy: Stop!
Don Lockwood: What can I do to you, I'm only a shadow.

Dignity. Always, dignity.

Don Lockwood

[about Lina] She's so refined. I think I'll kill myself.

Girl in audience

R.F. Simpson: Lina, you were gorgeous!
Cosmo Brown: Yeah, Lina, you looked pretty good for a girl.

Don Lockwood: Now Lina, you've been reading all those fan magazines again! Now look Lina, you shouldn't believe all that banana oil Dora Bailey and the columnists dish out. Now try to get this straight: there is nothing between us. There has never been anything between us. Just air.
Lina: Oh, Donny, you don't mean that.

Don Lockwood: What's the matter with that girl? Can't she take a gentle hint?
Cosmo Brown: Well haven't ya heard? She's irresistible. She told me so herself.

Short people have long faces, and long people have short faces. Big people have little humor, and little people have no humor at all.

Cosmo Brown

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