What's the first thing an actor learns? "The show must go on!' Come rain, come shine, come snow, come sleet, the show MUST go on!

Cosmo Brown

[filming a scene with a microphone hidden in a bush]
Rosco: Lina! We're missing every other word! You've got to talk into the mike!
Lina: [pointing at the bush] Well, I can't make love to a bush!

Kathy: You keep away from me! Just because you're a big movie star, wild parties, swimming pools, you expect every girl to fall in a dead faint at your feet. Well, don't you touch me!
Don Lockwood: [chanting] Fear not, sweet lady! I will not molest you. I am but a humble jester, and you? You are to far above me!
[he gets out of the car and closes the door on his coat tails]
Don Lockwood: Farewell, Ethel Barrymore! I must tear myself from your side!
[Don tears his coat. Kathy guffaws as Don walks away]

You have to show a movie at a party. It's a Hollywood law.

Cosmo Brown

You mean it's going to say on the screen that I don't talk and sing for myself?

Lina

Macaulay Connor: What's this? Is it my book?
C. K. Dexter Haven: Yes.
Macaulay Connor: C. K. Dexter Haven you have unsuspected depth!
C. K. Dexter Haven: Thanks, old chap.
Macaulay Connor: But have you read it?
C. K. Dexter Haven: When I was trying to stop drinking, I read anything.
Macaulay Connor: And did you stop drinking?
C. K. Dexter Haven: Yes. Your book didn't do it though.

Cosmo Brown: The price of fame. You've got the glory, you gotta take the little heartaches that go with it. Now look at me: I've got no fame, I've got no glory, I've got no big mansions, I've got no money! But I've got - what have I got?
Don Lockwood: I don't know, what have you got?
Cosmo Brown: I gotta get out of here.

[to Kathy, after she jumps out of the cake] Well, if it isn't Ethel Barrymore.

Don Lockwood

Margaret Lord: Are you one of the musicians?
Macaulay Connor: No!
Margaret Lord: Oh of course, you're Junius's friend. Only you're not. Do you have any violin strings?
Macaulay Connor: [digs in his pocket] I have an aspirin. Will that work?
Margaret Lord: I don't think so! It's for a violin. Oh well, no matter!

Phoebe Dinsmore: [giving Lina diction lessons] Repeat after me - Tah, Tey, Tee, Toe, Too.
Lina Lamont: Tah, Tey, Tye, Tow, Tyo.
Phoebe Dinsmore: No, no, no Miss Lamont, Round tones, round tones. Now, let me hear you read your line.
Lina Lamont: And I cayn't stand'im.
Phoebe Dinsmore: And I can't stand him.
Lina Lamont: And I cayn't stand'im.
Phoebe Dinsmore: Can't.
Lina Lamont: Cayn't.
Phoebe Dinsmore: Caaaan't
Lina Lamont: Cayyyyn't

Macaulay Connor: I don't think you're being fair to me, Mr. Kidd.
Sidney Kidd: No?
Macaulay Connor: No. You're treating me like you treat all your other writers.

Tracy Lord: These stories are beautiful. Why, Mike, they're almost poetry.
Macaulay Connor: Don't kid yourself, they are.

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