I feel very sorry for Wonka. It's gonna cost him a fortune in fudge.

Augustus Gloop

[singing] I want the world. I want the whole world. I want to lock it all up in my pocket. It's my bar of chocolate. Give it to me now.

Veruca Salt

Where is fancy bred, in the heart or in the head?

Willy Wonka

[singing] If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it. Anything you want to, do it; want to change the world... there's nothing to it.

Willy Wonka

Of course you don't know. You don't know because only *I* know. If you knew and I didn't know, then you'd be teaching me instead of me teaching you - and for a student to be teaching his teacher is presumptuous and rude. Do I make myself clear?

Mr. Turkentine

Charlie Bucket: Hey, the room is getting smaller.
Mrs. Teevee: No, it's not. *He's* getting *bigger*!
Mr. Salt: He's at it again!
Mike Teevee: Where's the chocolate?
Sam Beauregarde: I doubt if there is any.
Mr. Salt: I doubt if any of us will get out of here alive.
Willy Wonka: Oh, you should never, never doubt what nobody is sure about.
Mrs. Gloop: You're not squeezing me through that tiny door!
Mr. Salt: You're off your bleeding nut, Wonka. No one can get through there!

I've just decided to switch our Friday schedule to Monday, which means that the test we take each Friday on what we learned during the week will now take place on Monday before we've learned it. But since today is Tuesday, it doesn't matter in the slightest. Pencils ready!

Mr. Turkentine

Little surprises around every corner, but nothing dangerous. So don't be alarmed. As soon as your outer vestments are at hand, we'll begin.

Willy Wonka

It happens every time, they all become blueberries.

Willy Wonka

Violet Beauregarde: Well, they can't be real people.
Willy Wonka: Why, of course they're real people.
Mr. Salt: Stuff and nonsense!
Willy Wonka: No, Oompa Loompas.
The Group: Oompa Loompas?
Willy Wonka: From Loompaland.
Mrs. Teevee: Loompaland? There's no such place.
Willy Wonka: Excuse me, dear lady, but...
Mrs. Teevee: Mr. Wonka, I am a teacher of geography.
Willy Wonka: Oh, well, then you know all about it and what a terrible country it is. Nothing but desolate wastes and fierce beasts. And the poor little Oompa Loompas were so small and helpless, they would get gobbled up right and left. A Wangdoodle would eat ten of them for breakfast and think nothing of it. And so, I said, "Come and live with me in peace and safety, away from all the Wangdoodles, and Hornswogglers, and Snozzwangers, and rotten, Vermicious Knids."
Mr. Salt: Snozzwangers? Vermicious Knids? What kind of rubbish is that?
Willy Wonka: I'm sorry, but all questions *must* be submitted in writing. And so, in the greatest of secrecy, I transported the entire population of Oompa Loompas to my factory here.
Veruca Salt: Hey, Daddy, *I* want an Oompa Loompa! I want you to get me an Oompa Loompa right away!
Mr. Salt: All right, Veruca, all right. I'll get you one before the day is out.
Veruca Salt: I want an Oompa Loompa now!
Violet Beauregarde: Can it, you nit!

Willy Wonka: Don't you know what this is?
Violet Beauregarde: By gum, it's gum.
Willy Wonka: Wrong! It's the most amazing, fabulous, sensational gum in the whole world.
Violet Beauregarde: What's so fab about it?
Willy Wonka: This little piece of gum is a three-course dinner.
Mr. Salt: Bull.
Willy Wonka: No, roast beef. But I haven't got it quite right yet.

Rose, do you know why I like to have you serve me beer? So as I can watch you when you walk away.

Sergeant Milton Warden

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