Well, there it is.

Emperor Joseph II

Story of my life. I always get the fuzzy end of the lollipop.

Sugar

Joe: [trying to get Jerry to face reality regarding his engagement to Osgood] Jerry, Jerry, will you take my advice? Forget about the whole thing, will ya? Just keep telling yourself: you're a boy, you're a boy.
Jerry: I'm a boy.
Joe: That's the boy.
Jerry: [coming around] I'm a boy. I'm a boy. I wish I were dead. I'm a boy. Boy, oh boy, am I a boy. Now, what am I gonna do about my engagement present?
Joe: What engagement present?
Jerry: Osgood gave me a bracelet.
Joe: [takes it and inspects the stones with Beinstock's glasses] Hey, these are real diamonds!
Jerry: Of course they're real! What do you think? My fiance is a bum?

Katerina Cavalieri: I heard you met Herr Mozart.
Salieri: News travels fast in Vienna.
Katerina Cavalieri: And he's been commissioned to write an opera. Is it true?
Salieri: Yes.
Katerina Cavalieri: Is there a part in it for me?
Salieri: No.
Katerina Cavalieri: How do you know?
Salieri: Do you know where it's set, my dear?
Katerina Cavalieri: No.
Salieri: In a harem.
Katerina Cavalieri: What's that?
Salieri: A brothel!
Katerina Cavalieri: Oh-h-h-h.
Salieri: Come. Let's begin.
Katerina Cavalieri: What does he look like?
Salieri: Mozart? You might be disappointed.
Katerina Cavalieri: Why?
Salieri: Looks and talent don't always go together, Katerina
Katerina Cavalieri: Looks don't concern me, maestro. Only talent interests a woman of taste.

Real diamonds! They must be worth their weight in gold!

Sugar

I was staring through the cage of those meticulous ink strokes - at an absolute beauty.

Salieri

Joe Buck: I'm brand, spankin' new in this here town and I was hopin' to get a look at the Statue of Liberty.
Cass: It's up in Central Park, taking a leak. If you hurry, you can catch the supper show.

Ratso Rizzo: I gotta get outta here, gotta get outta here. Miami Beach, that's where you could score. Anybody can score there, even you. In New York, no rich lady with any class at all buys that cowboy crap anymore. They're laughin' at you on the street.
Joe Buck: Ain't nobody laughin' at me on the street.
Ratso Rizzo: Behind your back, I've seen 'em laughin' at you, fella.
Joe Buck: Aw, what the hell you know about women anyway? When's the last time you scored, boy?
Ratso Rizzo: That's a matter I only talk about at confession. We're not talkin' about me now.
Joe Buck: And when's the last time you've been to confession?
Ratso Rizzo: It's between me and my confessor. And I'll tell ya another thing. Frankly, you're beginning to smell. And for a stud in New York, that's a handicap.
Joe Buck: Well, don't talk to me about clean. I ain't never seen you change your underwear once the whole time I've been here in New York. And that's pretty peculiar behavior.
Ratso Rizzo: I don't have to do that kind of thing in public. I ain't got no need to expose myself.
Joe Buck: No, I bet you don't. I bet you ain't never even been laid! How about that? And you're gonna tell me what appeals to women!
Ratso Rizzo: I know enough to know that that great big, dumb cowboy crap of yours don't appeal to nobody except every jockey on 42nd Street. That's faggot stuff! You wanna call it by its name? That's strictly for fags!
Joe Buck: John Wayne! You wanna tell me he's a fag? I like the way I look. It makes me feel good. It does. And women like me, god-dammit. Hell, only one thing I've ever been good for is lovin'. Women go crazy for me. That's a really true fact. Ratso, hell: Crazy Annie, they had to send her away.
Ratso Rizzo: Then how come you ain't scored once, the whole time you've been in New York?
Joe Buck: 'Cause, 'cause I need management, god-dammit. 'Cause you stole twenty dollars offa me. That's why you're gonna stop crappin' around about Florida. And, and get your skinny butt movin.' And earn twenty dollars worth of management which you owe me.

The two basic items necessary to sustain life, are sunshine and coconut milk... didya know that?

Ratso Rizzo

Ratso Rizzo: Woman starts crying, I'd cut my heart out for her.
Jackie - New York: [passing by] That's a great idea. In fact, you just sit tight and I'll cut it out with my fingernail file, Ratso.
Ratso Rizzo: The name's Rizzo.
Jackie - New York: That's what I said: Ratso.

You look real nice, lover boy, real nice. Make your old grandma proud. You're gonna be the best-looking cowboy in the whole parade.

Sally Buck

Whoopee-tee-yi-yo. Get along little dogies. It's your misfortune and none of my own.

Joe Buck

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