Duane: Can I confess something? I tell you this as an artist, I think you'll understand. Sometimes when I'm driving... on the road at night... I see two headlights coming toward me. Fast. I have this sudden impulse to turn the wheel quickly, head-on into the oncoming car. I can anticipate the explosion. The sound of shattering glass. The... flames rising out of the flowing gasoline.
Alvy Singer: Right. Well, I have to - I have to go now, Duane, because I, I'm due back on the planet Earth.

Alvy Singer: I can't go into a movie that's already started, because I'm anal.
Annie Hall: That's a polite word for what you are.

Annie Hall: It's so clean out here.
Alvy Singer: That's because they don't throw their garbage away, they turn it into television shows.

My grammy never gave gifts. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.

Alvy Singer

Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.

Alvy Singer

[addressing the camera] There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly. The... the other important joke, for me, is one that's usually attributed to Groucho Marx; but, I think it appears originally in Freud's "Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious," and it goes like this - I'm paraphrasing - um, "I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member." That's the key joke of my adult life, in terms of my relationships with women.

Alvy Singer

Bruce Wayne: I watched you die.
Ra's al Ghul: I told you I was immortal.

John Blake: Don't you want to know who he is?
Jim Gordon: I know exactly who he is; he's The Batman.

Bruce Wayne: You are in deep with the wrong people.
Selina Kyle: You don't know a thing about me.

I call him The Bat, and yes Mr. Wayne it does come in black.

Lucius Fox

Bruce Wayne: I'm retired.
Lucius Fox: Well let me show you some stuff anyway. Just for old time's sake.

John Blake: Bane? What do you know about him?
Selina Kyle: That you should be as afraid of him as I am.

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