Hello, ma'am. Your daughter, she's done a great injustice, so we've come here seeking revenge. You see, we may not look like much, but between the three of us we have five legs, four eyes and two and a half pairs of working lungs, but we also have two dozen eggs, so if I were you, I would go back inside.

Augustus Waters

You see, there are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse that was once known as humanity. Indeed that's what we provide in our own modest, humble, insignificant... oh, fuck it.

M. Gustave

You know how everyone says seize the moment. I don't know, I'm kind of thinking it's the other way around. You know, like the moment seizes us.


Popularity is the slutty little cousin of prestige.

Mike Shiner

They honey potted us!

Aaron Rapoport

They hate us, ‘cause they ain’t us.

David Skywalk

David Skylark: Want to go kill Kim Jong-un?
Aaron Rapoport: Totally! I’d love to assassinate Kim Jonh-un. It’s a date!

Kim Jong-un: Dave! I have a gift for you!
David Skylark: Oh! Oh! Oh! This dog is killing me with it’s cuteness!
Kim Jong-un: It’s crazy cute!

David Skylark: Holy f***amole! A tank!
Kim Jong-un: It was a gift from my grandfather from Stalin.
David Skylark: In my country it’s pronounced Stallone.

David Skylark: There’s something out there!
Aaron Rapoport: It’s a tiger.
David Skylark: I didn’t want it to come to this but you’re going to have to fight that tiger!
Agent Lacey: Please tell me you know that that’s a stupid idea.
David Skylark: Do not be a gentleman. You go right for the f***ing balls!
Aaron Rapoport: I don’t see it’s balls.

David Skylark: Kim must die! That’s the American way.
Sook: How many times can the US make the same mistake?
David Skylark: As many times as it takes!

David Skylark: As the two best friends stared each other in the eyes, they knew that this might be the end of the long road. But even though that neither one could say it out loud, they were both thinking…
David Skylark and Aaron Rapoport: [whispers together] I love you.

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