We dictators aren't all bad. While Western countries continue to ravage our planet's resources, we preserve our land and conserve it by burying thousands of bones in single mass eco-graves.General Aladeen
Store Customer: God, the police are such fascist bastards.
General Aladeen: Yes, and not even in a good way.
I love it when women go to school. It's like seeing a monkey on roller skates -- it means nothing to them, but it's so adorable for us.General Aladeen
General Aladeen: You're an Apple Genius, so what do you do?
Nadal: Mostly I clean semen out of laptops.
[to his pregnant wife] Is this a boy or an abortion?General Aladeen
You two make a cute couple. But could you do this later? When you're not elbow deep in my vagina?Pregnant Woman
General Aladeen: Sub Saharan, can you have 150 child warriors here by 5:00pm?
Sorry you got killed by my dad.Ruth Buggs
What do you mean by that? Why do you guys hate me? Can we cook up some sausages? Ohh I have wasps in my brain!Ruth Buggs
Well ain't that a bag of tits.Ruth Buggs
Oh, no, we're not asking you to lose weight. That would be illegal. We just want you to be healthy, by eating less. So go home, weigh yourself on a scale, write than down. Then subtract 20 from that number. And weigh that. Yeah.Jill
Jack: We decided that, we want you to be on camera.
Alison Scott: Oh my god, really?
Jill: I know, I was so surprised too.