DEA Agent Parker: Do. You. Speak American?
Armando Alvarez: No sir. I don't speak American.

You're just like your mother, a big heart but simple. You cannot help me, I need someone smart, and if you were smart you would know that you are dumb.

Miguel Ernesto

Let me check out your chest... Let me check out your test.

Ms. Griggs

Put your tongue back in your mouth.

Mr. Walters

Domingo: You guys even real cops? You look like kids in Halloween
Jenko: Hey! You want me to beat your dick off?
Domingo: You want to beat my dick off?
Schmidt: I think what he was trying to say was, he's gonna punch you so many times round the genital area that your dick's just gonna fall off.

When did you go through puberty? Like at seven or something?

Mr. Walters

You are here because you some Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus lookin' mother (expletive). You will be going in as undercover high school students.

Captain Dickson

When did I get stabbed?! That's awesome!


Can you two stop (expletive) with the Korean Jesus!

Captain Dickson

Deputy Chief Harvey: Do you even know the Miranda rights?
Jenko: It obviously starts with... you have the right to... remain an attorney...
Deputy Chief Harvey: Did you just say you have the right to be an attorney?
Schmidt: Well, you do have the right to be an attorney if you want to...

(Expletive) you science!


Our world is at war, and Earth is next. Will you stay and fight for us?

Dejah Thoris

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