Bard: Will you have peace, or war?
Thorin Oakenshield: I will have war!

[to Bilbo] Farewell, Master Burglar. Go back to your books, your fireplace. Plant your trees, watch them grow. If more of us valued home above gold, it would be a merrier world.

Thorin Oakenshield

[to his company] Will you follow me, one last time?

Thorin Oakenshield

One day I'll remember. Remember everything that happened

Bilbo Baggins

Judd Altman: Three months ago I had a great job and a nice apartment and I was in love with my wife.
Penny Moore: No, you weren't.
Judd Altman: No?
Penny Moore: No. She was sleeping with somebody else for a year and you never noticed... How in love could you have been?
Judd Altman: Yep... That's fair.

Judd Altman: I'm gonna have to forgive her for the sake of that kid, aren't I?
Phillip Altman: Well, I'm no expert... but I think you're gonna have to make much larger sacrifices down the road.

Phillip Altman: Dad was a stoner?
Judd Altman: No, it was probably medicinal.
Phillip Altman: It always is.

Wendy Altman: Don't worry about Chelsea. Philip's skanky ex-girlfriends are a dime a dozen.
Tracy Sullivan: Do they all have to look like Victoria's Secret models?
Wendy Altman: She's not that hot.
Tracy Sullivan: Oh, come on! I would do her.
Wendy Altman: Yeah. I wouldn't say that in front of my brother.

Horry Callen: Brain injury. There are things I can't do.
Judd Altman: Like what?
Horry Callen: Like remember what the hell it is I can't do.

Judd Altman: I don't understand the Shiva. Mom's not even Jewish, and dad was an atheist.
Wendy Altman: A Jewish atheist, and this is what he wanted.

Hillary Altman: You can't leave this house; we're sitting shiva.
Wendy Altman: Mom, you're sitting in the exact same spot we put our Christmas tree.

Penny Moore: You used to laugh at my jokes.
Judd Altman: No, I didn't.
Penny Moore: Yes, you did.
Judd Altman: Yes, I did, but your jokes used to be funnier.

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