I have a weakness for prostitutes apparently, all kinds.Stu
I wish monkeys could skype.Alan
Mr. Chow: Did you die?
Phil: No, but i was shot.
Mr. Chow: But did you die?
Stu: I'm part of some weird wolf pack.
Alan: Hey, it's not weird. It's really quite cool, there's no membership fee.
"What is this a P.F. Chang's?"Alan
We're the 3 best friends that anybody could have.Alan [singing]
We're the 3 best friends that anyone could have, we're the 3 best friends that anyone can have and we'll never never ever ever ever leave each other."
"When a monkey nibbles on a weenis, it's funny in any language."Alan
"We made a pact, Wolfpack only."Alan [to Teddy]
"I have a demon in me."Stu
"All I wanted was a breakfast brunch."Stu
Stu: "You got shot!"
Phil: "Am I gonna be ok? You're a doctor."
[Stu looks at the gunshot wound and screams]
Phil: Chow! What are you doing here?
Alan: He's my plus one
Chow: We had a sick night bitches