Can you put this in a good spot? 'Cause all of this shit happened the last time I parked here.Axel Foley
Serge: [Serge is having trouble understanding/pronouncing Axel's first name] Donny, run and tell Miss Summers that, uh, Mister Achmed Foley is here to see her...
Axel Foley: No, *Axel* Foley. Axel.
Serge: Achnell...? Achwell...
Axel Foley: *Axel*.
Serge: ...Foley is here to see her, he's an old acquaintance.
This is the cleanest and nicest police car I've ever been in in my life. This thing's nicer than my apartment.Axel Foley
Don't you think I realize what's going on here, miss? Who do you think I am, huh? Don't you think I know that if I was some hotshot from out of town that pulled inside here and you guys made a reservation mistake, I'd be the first one to get a room and I'd be upstairs relaxing right now. But I'm not some hotshot from out of town, I'm a small reporter from "Rolling Stone" magazine that's in town to do an exclusive interview with Michael Jackson that's gonna be picked up by every major magazine in the country. I was gonna call the article "Michael Jackson Is Sitting On Top of the World," but now I think I might as well just call it "Michael Jackson Can Sit On Top of the World Just As Long As He Doesn't Sit in the Beverly Palm Hotel 'Cause There's No Niggers Allowed in There!"Axel Foley
Disturbing the peace? I got thrown out of a window! What's the fuckin' charge for getting pushed out of a moving car, huh? Jaywalking?Axel Foley
Just because your dad called the cops doesn't mean that he doesn't love you.Dale Arbus
We're not going to see Mother-Fucker Jones because we're not going to kidnap anyone.Nick Hendricks
Holy shit, he fight clubbed himself! We have a fight clubber!Kurt Buckman
I hate to break it to you, but the American dream is in China.Bert Hanson
Dave Harken: You options are.
Dale Arbus: Legal options.
Dave Harken: JACK SHIT.
Dale Arbus: I heard Jack Lebowitz is that an attorney I'm going to write that down Jack Lebowitz.
Kurt Buckman: Got to be can we get his contact info please.
Julia Harris: Have you ever done it in a dentist's chair?
Nick Hendricks: Well, you go there and I'll just go to the men's room for a minute.
Julia Harris: You're quite welcome to do that on me.
Nick Hendricks: Actually, it's... uh...
Julia Harris: And?
[Nick, Dale and Kurt are visiting Dave in prison] Hello Nick, guy who saved my life, guy who fucked my wife.Dave Harken