Phil Wenneck: [while driving a squad car on the sidewalk and using the loudspeaker] Ma'am, in the leopard dress, you have an incredible rack.
Phil Wenneck: [to himself] I should have been a fucking cop.

Melissa: I just wish your friends were as mature as you.
Stu Price: They are mature, actually. You just have to get to know them better.
Phil Wenneck: [yelling from outside] Paging Dr. Faggot. Dr. Faggot!
Stu Price: I should go.
Melissa: That's a good idea, Dr. Faggot.

Tigers love pepper... they hate cinnamon.

Alan Garner

Phil Wenneck: [his answering machine message] Hey, this is Phil. Leave me a message, or don't, but do me a favor: don't text me, it's gay.

So long, gay boys!

Mr. Chow

Alan Garner: [while picking up Phil at the school where he works] Did you have to park so close?
Doug Billings: Yeah, what's wrong?
Alan Garner: I shouldn't be here.
Doug Billings: Why is that, Alan?
Alan Garner: I'm not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school... or a Chuck E. Cheese.

Alan Garner: Hey Phil, look!
[laughs hysterically while miming the baby masturbating]
Alan Garner: He's jackin' his little weenus!
Phil Wenneck: Pull yourself together, bro!
Alan Garner: Not at the table, Carlos!

[to Holmes as he guzzles a liquid] You do know what your are drinking is meant for eye surgery?

Dr. John Watson

Gives me the goosebumps!

Col. Quaritch

You haven't got lost in the woods, have you? You still remember what team you're playing for?

Col. Quaritch

Everything is backwards now, like out there is the true world and in here is the dream

Jake Sully

You should see your faces!

Trudy Chacon

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