Someone's ear is in danger of getting hair brushed behind it...Columbus
[Searching for Twinkies] Where are ya, you spongy, yellow, delicious bastards!Tallahassee
Okay. You're about to learn who you're gonna call... GhostbustersColumbus
[after being taken hostage by Little Rock] Don't shoot me with my own gun!Tallahassee
[Upon finding a Hummer filled with rifles] Thank god for rednecks!Tallahassee
Pretty soon life's little Twinkie gauge is gonna go empty.Tallahassee
Columbus: There are no penguins in the North Pole.
Tallahassee: ...You wanna see how hard I can punch?
[a zombie is crushed by a falling piano] Poor flat bastard.Columbus
[a zombie kills an obese man] Poor fat bastard.Columbus
[discovers Hostess truck filled with Sno-Balls] Sno-Balls? Sno-Balls? I hate coconut! Not the flavor, but the consistency.Tallahassee
[to Tallahasse] Are you some type of cock blocking robot developed in some secret fucking government lab?Columbus
I could tell she knew what I was feeling, we all are orphans in Zombieland.Columbus