Melvin Purvis: The only way you're walking out of this jail cell is when we take you out to execute you.
John Dillinger: Well, we'll see about that.
Bruno: Drill Sergeant: Your finger's in my alley.
BrÃ¼no: Not yet.
Mike: You're all about comfort and efficiency!
Abby Richter: What's wrong with comfort and efficiency?
Mike: Well nothing, except no one wants to fuck it.
Lt. Aldo Raine: I need to know about Germans hiding in trees. And you need to tell me right now.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: I respectfully refuse, sir.
Lt. Aldo Raine: Actually, Werner, we're all tickled to hear you say that. Quite frankly, watching Donny beat Nazi's to death is the closest we ever get to going to the movies.
Lt. Aldo Raine: So you're "The Jew Hunter."
Col. Hans Landa: [giddy] That's a bingo!
Bridget von Hammersmark: There have been two recent developments regarding Operation Kino. One, the venue has been changed from the Ritz to a much smaller venue.
Lt. Aldo Raine: Enormous changes at the last minute? That's not very "Germatic." Why the hell is Goebbels doing stuff so damn peculiar?
Bridget von Hammersmark: It probably has something to do with the second development.
Lt. Aldo Raine: Which is?
Bridget von Hammersmark: [sits up] The FÃ¼hrer is attending the premiere.
What a tremendously hostile world that a rat must endure. Yet not only does he survive, he thrives. Because our little foe has an instinct for survival and preservation second to none... And that Monsieur is what a Jew shares with a rat.Col. Hans Landa
If you ever wanna eat a Sauerkraut sandwich again take your Wiener Schnitzel lickin' finger and point out on this map what I wanna know.Lt. Aldo Raine
Phil Wenneck: Whose fucking baby is that?
Stu Price: Alan, are you sure you didn't see anyone else in the suite?
Alan Garner: Yeah, I checked all the rooms... no one's there. Check its collar or something.
[singing passionately] What do tigers dream of when they take their little tiger snooze? Do they dream of mauling zebras, or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit? Don't you worry your pretty striped head, we're gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed. And then we're gonna find our best friend Doug, and then we're gonna give him a best friend hug. Doug, Doug, oh, Doug, Dougie, Dougie, Doug, Doug! But if he's been murdered by crystal meth tweakers, well then we're shit out of luck.Stu Price
Oh, you know what? Next week's no good for me... The Jonas Brothers are in town. But any week after that, it's totally fine.Alan Garner
I look like a nerdy hillbilly!Stu Price