[to Beth Cooper] Thanks. You hit me with your car. That was pretty cool.

Denis Cooverman

Beth Cooper: [shopping at a convenience store, picks up bag of Suzie-Q's] Suzie-Q's, yum!
Denis Cooverman: My mom says yum.
Beth Cooper: [seductively] Yum.
Denis Cooverman: Not like that.

What kind of a man has to make an appointment to sleep with his wife?


Trina: I'm sure she's fine
Angela: Trick, was anybody talking to you?
Trina: Trick?
Angela: Yes, trick. As in slut, whore, tramp. You don't know your name?

Patricia: Mike, Where's Sheila?
Mike: I made her drive, we took the plane. I should've made her walk, y'all know she fat as hell.
Patricia: Mike, do you hear what you are saying?
Diane: [to Patricia and Angela] Did he just say he made her drive?
Angela: I'm still stuck on the fat as hell part.

[after Mike's secret is revealed at the dinner table]
Troy: I think I should probably go.
Terry: No. I think you need to stay. We'll probably need some law enforcement up in here.

I love you more than all the words in all the books in all the world.


Angela: You got VD?
Marcus: [whispers] Can we talk about this in private?
Angela: No, I think y'all been talking in private quite enough. How long have you had it?
Marcus: About a week.
Angela: Was it Keisha?
Marcus: [shakes his head yes] .
Angela: No, you didn't get it from her. You got it from Walter.
Marcus: What? What are you talking about? I ain't gay!
Angela: No, I slept with him. I got my shot. I was just waiting for you to say something.

Trina: You belong in the kitchen.
Angela: And you belong on the corner. Need a pimp?

Do you prefer Margaret or "Satan's Mistress"?

Grandma Annie [upon being introduced to Margaret]

Margaret Tate: [surprised to see Andrew at her office] Why are you panting?
Andrew Paxton: Cause I've been running.
Margaret Tate: From Alaska?

Andrew Paxton: [about Margaret] Actually I picked up on all her little hints. This woman is about as subtle as a gun.
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