See you later, gay boys!

Mr. Chow

Alan Garner: [while picking up a friend at the school where he works] Did you have to park this close?
Doug Billings: Yeah, why?
Alan Garner: I just... I can't be here.
Doug Billings: What do you mean?
Alan Garner: I'm not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a church... or a Chuckeee Cheeze.

Not at the table, Jose!

Alan Garner

Don't you worry your pretty stripped head were gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed. Then were gonna find our best friend Doug and then were gonna give him a best friend hug... Doug Doug, Dougie, Doug, Doug.

Stu Price

What do tigers dream of when they take a little tiger snooze? Do they dream of mauling zebras or Halle Berry in her cat woman suit.

Stu Price

Alan Garner: Who's baby is that?
Phil Wenneck: We'll deal with the baby later.
Stu Price: We're not gonna leave a baby in the room. There's a tiger in the bathroom!

Phil Wenneck: Tracy, it's Phil.
Tracy Garner: Phil, where the hell are you guys?
Phil Wenneck: We lost Doug.
Tracy Garner: What? We're getting married in five hours.
Phil Wenneck: Yeah... that's not gonna happen.

Derek Charles: You need help.
Lisa Sheridan: I know. Help me, Derek.

Lisa Sheridan: I was having to pretend that I was concentrating on work when all I could think about was...
Derek Charles: Lisa! There is nothing going on between us.

You better do something about this woman, or I will!

Beth Charles

You said you wish we could be together.

Lisa Sheridan

Ned Freedman: You look like a douche.
Mike O'Donnell: I do not look like a douche.

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