Gigi: Maybe his grandma died or maybe he lost my number or is out of town or got hit by a cab...
Alex: Or maybe he is not interested in seeing you again.

Mary: He MySpaced me.
Nathan: Ouch!
Mary: Oh.
Joshua: Oh girl I don't know about that... My trampy little sister says MySpace is the new booty call.

Connie, do you know why that little boy did those things? Because he likes you.


What if you meet the love of your life, are you supposed to let them pass you by?


[to Joe] God don't like you... He grew you in a petri dish!


Jack Bruno: You do know how to fly this thing, right?
Tony: How do you think we got here?
Jack Bruno: Well, you crashed. Remember?

Don't go in the pimped out fridge Jack...

Jack Bruno

That's neat. Real neat.

Jack Bruno

Tia: My brother and I, we're not from your planet.
Jack Bruno: Well, you don't look like aliens.
Tia: What's an alien look like?
Jack Bruno: You know what aliens look like! They're like little green people with antennas, and "Take me to your leader, Earthlings!"

I thought we'd be together only in death.


Middle Jamal: [seeing the Taj Mahal] Is this heaven?
Middle Salim: You're not dead Jamal.
Middle Jamal: What is it? Some hotel?

I'm Madea! Ma to the damn D-E-A!


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