Peter Bretter: Is she coming this way?
Rachel Jansen: Yep.
Peter Bretter: I wish I wasn't wearing this fucking shirt.

How you served five years under her, I don't know. You deserve a medal, or a holiday or at least a cuddle from somebody.

Aldous Snow

Sarah Marshall: I hate your music.
Aldous Snow: Yeah well, I fucked the housekeeper the other day.

Off to find the mythical clitoris!

Darald

Yeah, I had a girl cheat on me once, with both Liam Gallagher and Noel Gallagher.

Aldous Snow

I mean, I've heard that women do fake orgasms, but I've never seen it... It really, deeply upset me.

Aldous Snow

Look at my limo driver... I'm going to have sex with her! alright!

Aldous Snow

[very unenthusiastically, while having sex with Peter] Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. I just came. Uh. Uh. Uh.

Model

I like her red hair. I wonder if the carpet matches her pubes.

Surfing Instructor

You sound like you're from London!

Surfing Instructor

Oh ok, I'll just go fuck myself then.

Matthew

[leaving a message on his girlfriend's phone] I think we both said some things we didn't mean, like...when you broke up with me...on my b-day.

Nick

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