Quotes
I feel like the nerd at the sleep-over that fell asleep at nine.
Red
I used to use this gun when I was a prostitute.
Red
Sit yo sexy ass down, so you can watch yourself die!
Matheson
I may look tough, but I got a lot of feelings...and you hurt...damn near every one of them.
Matheson
Mother of pearl!
Maxwell Smart
Maxwell Smart: Well, you were no help at all.
Agent 99: How could I help? I'm just a woman with a dusty old uterus.
Maxwell Smart: I never said dusty.
It's okay, 99. Big people feel pain, too.
Maxwell Smart
There was a guy in the bathroom - and he was really hot!
Maxwell Smart
Agent 99: Did I hear something?
Maxwell Smart: Yes, there were some tap dancers in the hallway.
Agent 99: Did you see anything while I was dancing?
Maxwell Smart: Just once, but I don't think you expected him to lift you that high.
Maxwell Smart: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
The Chief: I don't know. Were you thinking, "Holy shit, holy shit, a sword fish almost went through my head"? If so, then yes.
Agent 99: I used to look like my mom.
Maxwell Smart: I used to look like two of my moms put together.
