Shtarker: Too bad about all the dead movie stars.
Siegfried: Yes. What will we do without their razor-sharp political advice.

Larabee: I'll do it sir, I have no problem exposing myself.
Agent 99: Do you ever think before you open your mouth?
Larabee: No, I tend to just whip it out there.

Well, you've done your job, so I don't suppose I can kill your wife Zenat. Although frankly I'd be doing the sighted world a favor.


[on phone] Tell Dr. Cox I have the new keys!
[Osbourne hangs up, and picks up a hatchet]

Osborne Cox

Hospital Nurse: We brought you right back. People die all the time.
Bertram Pincus: Yeah, but it's usually just the end.

Oh, is this about the perfume bitch?

Mary Haines

Rooster: So long, Tom.
Turk: Where are you going?
Rooster: I dunno. To hell, I suppose.

[voiceover] A real chip off the old block, my daughter. She said I was a cop, and a good one. Funny... Rooster said the same thing.


Sorry, I don't happen to know my account number because unfortunately I don't sit around all day trying to memorize the fucking numbers!

Osborne Cox

[after shooting Chad] What the fuck? I killed a spook.

Harry Pfarrer

Linda Litzke: I'm really looking for a guy with a sense of humor.
Chad Feldheimer: That guy, wait, that guy wasn't bad.
Linda Litzke: Him?
Chad Feldheimer: No before.
Linda Litzke: Him?
Chad Feldheimer: Umm, he might not be a loser...
Linda Litzke: How can you tell?
Chad Feldheimer: That's a Brioni suit.
Linda Litzke: Yeah?
Chad Feldheimer: Shit yeah!
Linda Litzke: Does he look like he would have a sense of humor?
Chad Feldheimer: Looks like his optometrist has a sense of humor.

Appearances can be... deceptive.

Chad Feldheimer

FREE Movie Newsletter