Frank: I'd like to do some sight-seeing.
Pilot: this plane isn't for tourists
[Frank pulls out gun]
Frank: I'm not a tourist.

You're always complaining, except when we make love. Then you say nothing.


He's a bastard, but he's still my father.


Rule #1. Never change the deal.


Jensen: So what about the other drivers?
Machine-Gun Joe: It's kill or be killed.
Jensen: I can see the appeal.

It's almost a shame to smoke it. It's like killing a unicorn...with, like, a bomb.


Saul: Man, why'd we have to go to the woods?
Dale Denton: Well you didn't come up with any ideas!
Saul: Yeah, I came up with two! Nowhere and Quizno's.

Scientist: Private Miller, you've been smoking item nine for nine minutes. How do you feel?
Private Miller: I feel like a slice of butter... melting over a... big ol' pile of flapjacks... yeah.

Saul: No... I see. The monkey's out of the bottle now!
Dale Denton: What? That's not even.. a figure of speech.
Saul: Pandora can't go back into the box, he only comes out.

Saul: How about in the park, when I said you were my friend... you didn't say anything back.
Dale Denton: Well, that's easy. It's because we're not friend. You are my drug dealer, the only reason I know you is because I like the drugs you sell. If you didn't sell drugs, I would have no idea who you are, and I wouldn't be here right now. I would be fantastic!

I'm chill as a cucumber.

Dale Denton

Tugg Speedman: Wait, guys, are you telling me you're giving up on the movie? I thought we were supposed to be a team, a unit.
Kirk Lazarus: Suck my unit.

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