Cover me, Dicklips!

Kirk Lazarus

I am a rooster illusion.

Tugg Speedman

[as Simple Jack] Mama, I'll see you again tonight in my head movies. But this head movies makes my eyes rain!

Tugg Speedman

Tugg Speedman: There were times while I was playing Jack where I felt
Tugg Speedman: Retarded. Like, really retarded.
Kirk Lazarus: Moronical?
Tugg Speedman: Yeah!
Kirk Lazarus: An Imbicile?
Tugg Speedman: Yeah!
Kirk Lazarus: Like the dumbest motherfucker that ever lived?
Tugg Speedman: [pause] When I was playing the character.

I don't read the script. The script reads me.

Kirk Lazarus

Now take a step back...*and fuck your own face!*

Les Grossman

Mother Nature just pissed her pants, dude!


[over the phone] Osbourne Cox? I thought you might be wooorrried...about the secuuurrrity...of your shit.

Chad Feldheimer

Harry Pfarrer: Go around the corner, we'll do it in the back.
Katie Cox: You're so coarse.
Harry Pfarrer: Back of the car... not the rear entry situation.

As you know this puts us in awkward position... I don't have enough to continue.


Eddie: That's quite a raise. That's 150 on my 100.
"Hatchet" Harry: Yeah. And is there anything else you want to say?

Dog: I'll find you... I'll find you.
Bacon: 'Course you will sweetheart!
[Ties Dog's hands behind him]
Dog: I'll find you.
Bacon: What d'you think this is? Fucking hide and seek?

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