Police Liaison Officer: What the hell is that? What the hell is that?
Dale Denton: Oh, oh, it's a roach. It's a joint. I have anorexia. Honest I thought it was decriminalized.
Police Liaison Officer: Selling drugs to minors has *not* been decriminalized. I'm the police liaison officer with this school and I just saw a bunch of my kids comin' around the corner with their eyes as red as the devil's dick!
Saul: Wait...what do you mean the battery's dead?
Dale Denton: ... I mean the battery is dead. It ceases to live. The car needs a battery to start, Saul.
Saul: No no... What do you mean, the battery is dead?
Dale Denton: The battery is fucking dead. I don't know how I can word this to you differently.
Saul: Red! You came back! Man, you lied to me. You said you had herpes and Dale said you didn't.
Red: I know Saul. I'm sorry. It's just, after all this, and seeing this guyâ€™s nuts get smashed with my Daewoo, I love you man.
Red: I want to be inside you, homes!
Saul: It's like, if you took that Blue Oyster shit I gave you last week, and then that crazy African Kush I had that one time.. and they had a baby. And then meanwhile, that crazy Northern Light shit I had, and that Red shit I had, made a baby. And by some crazy miracle, those two babies got together, and fucked... this would be it!
Dale Denton: [smells the marijuana] Oh. Wow. This is the product of baby fucking.
Angie Anderson: Fuck you Dale. I lost my virginity when I was fourteen, okay? How many women have you even slept with?
Dale Denton: Like two and a half.
Angie Anderson: Two and a half? What the fuck does that mean? Your hand doesn't count.
General: [Riding in a truck full of troops on its way to deal with Kong] Listen up. This is New York City, and this is sacred ground. You hear me? It was built for humans, by humans. Not for stinking lice-infested apes. The thought of some mutant gorilla crapping all over the streets of this fair city fills me with disgust. So this is how it's going to be: We find it. We kill it. We cut its ugly head off and we ram it up...
[the truck is immediately trampled by Kong]
Hayes: If someone were to tell you this ship was headed for Singapore, what would you say?
Lumpy the Cook: I'd say they're full of it Mr. Hayes. I mean we turned Southwest last night.
Carl Denham: Fellas, we're not looking for any trouble...
Jimmy: No. You're looking for somethin' else.
Carl Denham: Ann, I'm not that kind of person.
Ann Darrow: Oh really, then what kind of person are you Mr.Denham?
Carl Denham: I'm someone you can trust, I'm a movie producer.
Monsters belong in B movies.Carl Denham
Carl Denham: I've risked everything I had on this film.
Captain Englehorn: No Denham, you risked everything I have.
[the boat is leaving the dock, and Carl made Jack stay because he hasn't finished the script]
Carl Denham: I keep telling you, Jack, there's no money in theater. That's why you should stick with film.
Jack Driscoll: No Carl, it's not about the money. I love theater.
Carl Denham: No you don't. If you really loved it, you would've jumped.
Ladies and Gentlemen... I give you... KONG! THE EIGHTH WONDER OF THE WORLD!Carl Denham