A lot of elevators play Celine Dion - that doesn't make it right.

Robert 'Fish' Fishman

It's not "stealing" if you're family. But, seriously, don't tell your mom.

Robert 'Fish' Fishman

I'm so scared right now. I'm just gonna to do what's sensible, I'm gonna file for unemployment. Then I'm gonna try to get a job at Enterprise Rent-A-Car, because they got an excellent corporate structure and they... *they* give *you* the tools to be your own boss.

Brennan Huff

Dale Doback: I manage a baseball team.
Nancy Huff: Oh, little league?
Dale Doback: Fantasy league.

Brennan Huff: This house is a fucking prison!
Dale Doback: On Planet Bullshit!
Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!

Kostos: We are no good at not loving each other...
Lena: I tried. I tried, but I couldn't.
Kostos: I tried too...

Evelyn O'Connell: What is that god awful smell?
Jonathan Carnahan: [covered in puke] The Yak yakked.

Jonathan Carnahan: Die you mummy bastards. Die.
Mad Dog Maguire: There is no call for bad language.

You three-headed shape-shifting son-of-a-bitch.

Jonathan Carnahan

Ah! My ass is on fire! My ass is on fire! Spank my ass. Spank my ass!

Jonathan Carnahan

Rick O'Connell: I. Really. Hate. Mummies.
Evelyn O'Connell: I think the feeling is mutual.

I took Gotham's white knight, and brought him down to our level. It wasn't hard. Y'see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little...push.

The Joker

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