The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules!

The Joker

See, I'm not a monster...I'm just ahead of the curve.

The Joker

I had a vision, of a world without Batman. The mob ground out a little profit and the police tried to shut them down, one block at a time. And it was so... boring. I've had a change of heart. I don't want Mr.Reese spoiling everything, but why should I have all the fun? Let's give someone else a chance. If Coleman Reese isn't dead in sixty minutes then I blow up a hospital.

The Joker

[speaking to Harvey Dent] I don't get political points for being an idealist... I have to do the best I can with what I have.

Lt. James Gordon

Bruce Wayne: How will it hold up against dogs?
Lucius Fox: We talking Rottweilers or Chihuahuas? Should do fine against cats.

Lt. James Gordon: It's a shame Sal's going to walk.
Harvey Dent: Yeah, well, the good thing about the mob is they keep giving you second chances.

You want to save your own life, but you don't know how to take one. Give it to someone who knows how to take one. Give me the damn thing so I can do what you shoulda did ten minutes ago.

Tattooed Prisoner

Call me when you want to start taking things a little more seriously.

The Joker

Saul: BF... FF?
Dale Denton: Best Fuckin’ Friends Forever Man!

Fuck Jeff Goldblum.

Saul

Red: [points to his armpits] You see this? There's no hair under here!
Dale Denton: What's the significance of that?
Red: It makes me aerodynamic, for fighting!

Dale Denton: Yeah but if you do bad stuff you're going to come back as something bad like a slug or an anal bead. But if you do something heroic then you'll come back as like an eagle or a dragon, or Jude Law. Now which would you rather be?
Red: The anal bead wouldn't be bad. I mean I guess it would depend on whose anal bead it was.
Dale Denton: It's *my* anal bead.

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