[after hearing Brennan sing] You have the voice of an angel. I mean, it's like Fergie meets Jesus.

Dale Doback

Rick: You know, it's not easy being a... dad.
Alex: Yeah. But you do it real good.

[Evelyn has just kicked a poisonous snake towards Rick]
Rick: Those are poisonous, you know.
Evelyn: Only if they bite you.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls!

Brennan Huff

Derek: So what do we do now?
Brennan Huff: We can hug?
Derek: Yeah you'd like that ya faggot!.... I'm sorry, I'm new to this.

Alex: [trying to start the car] Come on, come on!
[Johnathan turns the key and breaks it off]
Alex: You broke it, you broke it, you broke it!
Jonathan: Be quiet Alex! If there's going to be any hysterics, they'll come from me!

I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!

Brennan Huff

He better not get in my face, 'cause I'll drop that motherfucker!

Brennan Huff

Evelyn: Would you like to know what heaven looks like?
Rick: Later.

Rick: [talking about Alex] I swear that kid gets more and more like you every day.
Evelyn: You mean more attractive, sweet and devilishly charming?
Rick: No. He's driving me crazy.

Brennan Huff: This house is a prison!
Dale Doback: On planet bullshit!
Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of this sucks camel dick!

Jonathan: Pull me up. Pull me up.
[he sees the huge diamond on top of the pyramid]
Jonathan: Wait, wait. Let me down. Let me down.
Rick: It's not worth your life, you idiot.
Jonathan: Yes, it is. Yes, it is.

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