Evelyn: You lied to me.
Jonathan: I lie to everybody. What makes you so special?
Evelyn: I am your sister.
Jonathan: Yes, well that just makes you more gullible.

Evelyn: Have you got any bright ideas?
Rick: I'm thinking, I'm thinking...
Evelyn: You better think of something fast, because, if he turns me into a mummy you're the first one I'm coming after.

Evelyn: You were actually at Hamunaptra?
Rick: Yeah, I was there.
Evelyn: You swear?
Rick: Every damn day.

It is better to be the right hand of the devil than in his path.


[after a shipwreck]
Beni: Hey, O'Connell! It looks to me like I've got all the horses!
Rick: Hey, Beni! Looks to me like you're on the wrong side of the river!

Evelyn: Look, I... I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure-seeker, or a gunfighter, Mr. O'Connell, but I am proud of what I am.
Rick: And what is that?
Evelyn: I... am a librarian.

You are rude, and mean, and sloppy, and frizzy - and I don't like you at all.


Pete Hansen: What's wrong, Pookie?
Jenna: Pookie? Uh... *Pukie!* You're married!

Matt, stop being so nice to me. I don't deserve it. Do you know what kind of person I am now, I mean - do you know who I am right now? I don't have any real friends. I did something bad with a married guy. I don't talk to my mom and dad. I'm not a nice person. And the thing is - I'm not 13 anymore.


Jenna: What happened?
Matt: I don't know. I can pretty much peg it to your 13th birthday party, when you were in the closet playing that game. Spin the Rapist?
Jenna: Seven Minutes in Heaven.

Matt: Jenna, what are you... Why are you here?
Jenna: Matty, I told you - something really weird is happening. Yesterday was my 13th birthday and then, and then today I woke up and I'm this, and you, I mean - you're that! You get it?
Matt: [long pause] Are you high? You been smoking pot? Doing X? Fallen into a K-Hole? You doing drugs?

It doesn't matter what Lucy said. I stopped trusting her after she stole my poprocks in the third grade.


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