Alby: My name is Alby. Now, can you tell me anything about yourself, who you are?
Thomas: What is this place?
Alby: Let me show you. Hope you're not afraid of heights. Let's go. Come on. This is all we got.
Thomas: What's out there?
Alby: We only have three rules. First, do your part. Second, never harm another Glader. Most importantly, never go beyond those walls.
What Is This Place?Thomas
Clark: I'm just trying to treat my family to a little fun.
Ellen Griswold: Oh spare me, Clark, I know your brand of family fun. Tomorrow you'll probably kill the desk clerk, hold up a McDonalds, and drive us 1000 miles out of the way to see the world's largest pile of mud!
Oh Ellen, the old west was dirty. Everything isn't like home. If everything were like home, there would be no reason for leaving home. Right, Rusty?Clark
Why aren't we flying? Because getting there is half the fun. You know that.Clark
Clark Griswald: So, this is the old homestead, eh?
Cousin Eddie: Yeah. I don't know for how much longer, though. The bank's been after me like flies on a rib roast.
Audrey Griswold: [Looking at Vicki's trophy for hog raising] Uh, don't take this personally, Vicki; but being a farmer isn't too cool you know.
Cousin Vicki: Oh, yeah? Well, how cool is this?
Clark: We're from out of town.
Man Giving Directions: No shit.
Clark, what are you doing?Ellen Griswold
Cousin Vicki: I'm going steady, and I French kiss.
Audrey Griswold: So? Everybody does that.
Cousin Vicki: Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best at it.
Aunt Edna: I was afraid you'd get pulled over, Clark. You've been exeeding the speed limit for thousands of miles!
Rusty Griswold: Dad wasn't speeding. The cop stopped us because Dad forgot to...
Ellen Griswold: He was speeding, Rusty!
Rusty Griswold: No he wasn't, Mom. He...
Clark: Rusty! Listen to your mother. I was speeding. I was driving like a maniac. We can all be grateful for this man for stopping us. You see kids...
Motorcycle Cop: Here's the leash, sir. I'm going back to get the rest of the carcass off the road.
Ellen Griswald: We're not really violent people. This is our first gun.
Clark Griswald: No, it isn't.