Alarm Guy: So why do they call him "the Joker"?
Safecracker: I heard he wears makeup.
Alarm Guy: Makeup?
Safecracker: Yeah, to scare people. You know, war paint.

Computer, define 'dancing.'

Captain

I didn't know we had a pool!

Mary

Call me an asshole one more time.

Hancock

Stephanie: You're a virgin?
Luke Shapiro: No. Naw. I just haven't officially had sex yet.

Rail Crossing Crowd #2: Your breath smells like alcohol!
Hancock: That's cause I've been drinking bitch!

It's my last night of freedom... which is what some might see it, but for me it's the last night before the greatest adventure of my life.

Sky

[to Tanya] Typical, you wait 20 years for a father and then three show up at once.

Rosie

Last time I saw your mother she said she never wanted to see me again.

Sam Carmichael

Sophie: I've invited my dad to my wedding.
Ali: You found him!?
Sophie: Well not exactly.

Sophie: I don't care if you've slept with hundreds of men!
Donna: I haven't slept with HUNDREDS of men...!

Donna: There were three guys around the same time...
[giggles]
Tanya: You shady lady!

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