Rusty Griswold: Is that a real gun, Mom?
Ellen Griswold: I don't know, Rusty, but when this is all over, your father... may be going away for a little while.

Motorcycle Cop: Do you know what the penalty for animal cruelty is in this state?
Clark: No, sir, I don't.
Motorcycle Cop: Well... it's probably pretty stiff.

Clark: I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. You're gonna have fun, and I'm gonna have fun... We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we're gonna need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of your assholes! I must be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!
Rusty Griswold: [Grabs Clark's shoulder] Dad, you want an aspirin?
Clark: Don't touch!

[to Beamen] You're very, very young... and your very, very stupid.

Tony D'Amato

Maybe it's not racism. Maybe it's just placism. A brother needs to know his place.

Willie 'Alien' Beamen

[in passing a player in the locker room exposed in all his manhood] Don't stiffen on me.

Christina Pagniacci

Oh that's great! That's just FUCKING great! Did you get that?

Jack Rose

(Speaking to Tony) Why the hell do you think my father put me in charge you bullheaded moron!

Christina Pagniacci

In football, you have the offense and the defense. You can't have one without the other. Respect will be paid.

Luther 'Shark' Lavay

Hey, unless you're gonna kiss me, get your hands off my ass.


Perfect. Fuck. Ok stay here and get... butt fucked by 12 Neanderthals. Bitch

Dr. Harvey Mandrake

No intensity, no victory.

Christina Pagniacci

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