Indiana Jones: Who is your mother, again?
Mutt Williams: Mary, Mary Williams. You don't remember her?
Indiana Jones: There've been a lot of Marys, kid.
Mutt Williams: [draws switchblade] Hey! That's my mother you're talking about!

I barely recognize this country anymore, the government has us seeing communists in our soup.

Dean Charles Stanforth

Indiana Jones: How did Deidra take the news?
Dean Charles Stanforth: How does any wife take such things... a look on her face is a combination of pride and panic

Miranda Hobbes: [hands Carrie her iPhone, which Carrie returns somewhat disgusted]
Carrie Bradshaw: I don't know how to work this!

Some labels are best left in the closet

Carrie Bradshaw

Leonidas: Adjust you sword boy, it's digging into my back.
Sonio: But I’m not wearing my sword.
Leonidas: [pause] Carry on then.

I tell you kid, you got balls. I come over here with a big army, we're goin’ to shish kebab your ass.

Xerxes

I'm a Hilton, I don't bow... but I do bend over.

Paris Hilton

I'm assembling an army to go to war with Persia. I'm going to take them in the rear... and then I'm gonna reach around, and I'm gonna take them again from the front!

Leonidas

Yo mamas so hairy, the only language she speaks is wookie!

Leonidas

Yo mamas so fat, her pant size is, um... um... Bitch, lose some weight!

Urban Girl

Messenger: [Leonidas has kissed the Persian's messenger on the mouth] What was that?
Leonidas: That is how men great each other in Sparta: high-fives for the women and open-mouthed tongue kisses for the men!

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