Mac: This ain't gonna be easy.
Indiana Jones: Not as easy as it used to be.

Derek, have you got your cup on? Because I will hit you there.

Fred Simmons

Dentistry? I can't even believe that's something that's real.

Fred Simmons

If you were in prison, you'd be raped because you exude feminine qualities. You're also a big ole fat piece of ass.

Fred Simmons

Your weakness is disgusting to me.

Fred Simmons

You're like one of those women from Flavor of Love. 'I'm gonna kill you'

Peter Bretter

Let me just say that if God was a city planner he would not put a playground next to a sewage system!


Everytime I see a bag of Hershey's Kisses my balls get so wet.

Neil Patrick Harris

Kumar Patel: So, you like, smoke weed, then throw people in jail for smoking weed? That's so hypocritical, dude.
George W. Bush: Do you like to give hand jobs?
Kumar Patel: Uh, no.
George W. Bush: Do you like to get hand jobs?
Kumar Patel: Well, yeah!
George W. Bush: That makes you a fuckin' hypocriticizer too!

Fuck you, donuts are awesome!

Kumar Patel

I've never sucked a dick before. I bet it sucks dick!

Kumar Patel

Kumar Patel: After all we've been through, I'm not sure we can trust our government anymore.
George W. Bush: Hey, I'm in the government and I don't trust it. Listen, you don't have to trust the government to be a good American. You just have to believe in your country.

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