Dr. Lepage: We want you to take it easy for a few days.
Jean-Dominique Bauby: What do you think I'm doing now?

A poet once said, "Only a fool laughs when nothing's funny"

Jean-Dominique Bauby

We're all children, we all need approval.

Jean-Dominique Bauby

I decided to stop pitying myself. Other than my eye, two things aren't paralyzed, my imagination and my memory.

Jean-Dominique Bauby

He turned down a blow job from his ex-girlfriend. You know what that does to a man? It's called blue balls. He's like Gandhi! But better - he likes puppets!

Dwayne the Bartender

You have Christ between your thighs... only with a shorter beard.


Sarah Marshall: I need you to get hard, Pete.
Peter Bretter: I know what I'm supposed to do.

Peter Bretter: How are things going with the lady?
Darald: Not awesome. She's complicated, like the Da Vinci Code, except harder to crack.

Seemingly, the only actresses that can survive are the ones that show their cooter and I refuse to that. Excuse me, but I have a little dignity.

Sarah Marshall

Oh, if they were Sean Jean sweatpants it would be no problem, but because they were Costco brand, it's the worst thing I could do.

Peter Bretter

Surfing Instructor: I once saw him beat a guy up with a starfish!
Peter Bretter: That's ridiculous.
Surfing Instructor: That guy was me.

Peter Bretter: I wanna stand up before I leave.
Surfing Instructor: I don't think you're ready, man.
Peter Bretter: I'm ready to ride fucking giants, Kunu.
Surfing Instructor: I think you're ready.

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