Sarah Marshall: Remember how we thought the killer masturbated before commiting his crimes?
Detective Hunter Rush: Yes?
Sarah Marshall: Take a look...
Detective Hunter Rush: ...Looks like where he's going he'll need to know how to masturbate.

Surfing Instructor: There's only one cure for pain like that.
Peter Bretter: What?
Surfing Instructor: Weed. Ya got any?
Peter Bretter: No.
Surfing Instructor: Well then let's just go surfing!

Surfing Instructor: If you get bitten by a shark, you're not just gonna give up surfing, are you?
Peter Bretter: ...yeah, probably

I just went from six to midnight.

Matthew

Are those sad tissues or happy tissues?

Kemo

Kate Holbrook: What you eat, the baby eats. What you listen to, the baby listens to.
Oscar: If you listen to DMX, the baby comes out goin' "Ennngghhh!"

Gentlemen start your engines! It's gonna be a bumpy ride!

Neil Patrick Harris

You know what, the rest of you may hate your insomnia but I'm not sure I want a cure for mine. That's when I get all my best ideas... I'm alone, occasionally... with no distractions. My mind is racing with creative ideas and come 3am I feel like a genius.

Theo

Luke: I don't know, I just think Dr. Marrow's up to something. And you know what, I'm going to find out. Right after I check on Theo that is. I wonder how she's doing.
Eleanor "Nell" Vance: Doing or wearing?
Luke: Yeah no kidding. Did you see what she had on yesterday? Hey I definitely got a soft spot for Theo.

Jane: Also, we know how much you loved Mom's car so we're giving it to you.
Eleanor "Nell" Vance: you're taking away my home, and giving me a twenty year old car? Who are you?

We should have stopped this when Mary got hurt. And definitely when Eleanor... Jesus Christ, we have to get out of here.

Dr. David Marrow

You know all my life, I have been waiting for an adventure. I thought it would never happen to me. I mean adventures are for Soldiers, or for bullfighters, the women fall in love with. Now, here I am. Paintings are moving and strange voices are calling for me at night, and all it cost me was FIVE GALLONS OF GAS.

Eleanor "Nell" Vance

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