Nancy Hayes: I dropped out of high school, took a trip to Hollywood, went broke, came home, and hostessed at a strip club.
Jack Ryan: Everybody hostesses, nobody strips.

Bob Rogers, Jr.: I get the feeling we're gonna run into each other again and one of us could end up looking like shit.
Jack Ryan: I got a headstart on you in that department. It's not fair.

Bob Rogers, Jr.: You know, if I wasn't with someone, I might just pick your ass up and carry you out of here.
Jack Ryan: You might have to if Walter here keeps buying me beer. He's getting me all liquored up, I'm just trying to keep my wits about me.

Frank Pizzarro: What is this?
Jack Ryan: What's what?
Frank Pizzarro: Dude, this is $200. You said we made six.
Jack Ryan: Right, yeah, but $200 is your cut, cause that's the going rate for hiding in the truck.

Jack Ryan: Have a little faith in people. Not God, cause he's just an imaginary friend for grown ups.
Frank Pizzarro: What the hell's that supposed to mean?
Jack Ryan: I don't know.

Carlos: You called, Edna? You are a vision as always. Ah, Hello, Alex.
Alexander Scott: Hi, Carlos. How was Cuba?
Carlos: Es... adequate.

Rachel: I'm with B.N.S.
Kelly Robinson: Yeah, what's B.N.S. stand for? Bitch that Needs some Slapping?

Kelly Robinson: He's a bad guy, right?
Alexander Scott: I don't know. People are flip-flopping so much I lost track.

Rachel: There's one thing that will always make a man talk.
Alexander Scott: Cut my belt?

Kelly Robinson: Hey, what's this? It looks like a sock.
Alexander Scott: It's a secret spy mask.
[Kelly puts it on]
Kelly Robinson: Hey man, this is a sock!

Truman: So you drill, drop the nuke, and leave. Here's the key: you're going to remote-detonate the nuke... before the asteroid passes this plane,
[Quincy shows a video of the asteroid]
Truman: Zero Barrier. If you do that, the fragments of the asteroid will be deflected enough to pass right by us. If the bomb explodes after Zero Barrier,
[the video of the asteroid fragments hitting the Earth is displayed]
Truman: game's over.

You know it's all funny until somebody gets shot in the leg.


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