You know you've reached rock bottom when you're told you have character flaws by a man who hanged his predecessor in a military coup.Charlie Wilson
Yeah, well I'd like to take a moment to review the several ways in which you're a douche bag?Gust Avrakotos
That's a thick ass door!Charlie Wilson
Joanne Herring: [Joanne has just told Bonnie to get her a cocktail] She doesn't like me.
Charlie Wilson: Everybody likes you.
Joanne Herring: She's a liberal.
Charlie Wilson: I'm a liberal.
Joanne Herring: [puts her hand on his butt] Not where it counts.
You can not kill me.Carl Stargher
Carl Stargher: Why are you here... don't lie.
Catharine Deane: I came to help you.
Carl Stargher: Bitch, whore...
Catharine Deane: You sound like your father.
Carl Stargher: [in a monster's voice] HE WAS NOTHING, HE IS NOTHING!
Mares eat oats, and does eat oats, and little lambs eat ivy. A kid'll eat ivy, too... wouldn't you?Carl Stargher
Catharine Deane: Hey you.
[pets young Carl's horse]
Catharine Deane: You know, I know another little boy who has a horse. His name's Edward. The boy, not the horse.
And what world do you live in?Carl Stargher
Do you believe there is a part of yourself, deep inside in your mind, with things you don't want other people to see? During a session when I'm inside, I get to see those things.Catharine Deane
Chili Palmer: [gets up]
Tommy Athens: Hey, wait. Where are you going?
Chili Palmer: I'm going to the men's. I just had two ice teas.
Tommy Athens: Hey, Chil. How does the movie sound?
Chili Palmer: Well, you don't have a movie yet. You have a setting and a premise. But you don't have character arcs or a plot
Tommy Athens: [while Chili is going to the restroom] Hey, who will play me? Think about that.
Chili Palmer: [turns around] What about Carrot Top?
Chili Palmer: How many miles to the gallon to you get on those Hummers, about 12?
Sin LaSalle: Dabu! Thank you, Mr. Goodwrench.