Maybe dad didn't abandon us. Maybe he just forgot who we were.

Wendy Savage

[pointing to Motel room] It's right there in the corner number 4. You might have to jiggle the handle a little bit to open her up, she's as sticky as an old whore.


[on the tapes] This looks like a library of classics.

David Fox

[having seen a snuff movie] At least they could've provided us with a little bit of porn.

David Fox

[about the room] We've had our tetanus shots... right?

Amy Fox

[on observing a snuff movie] I bet this gets the honeymooners in the mood.

David Fox

Amy Fox: I'm sleeping in my clothes tonight.
David Fox: I'm sleeping in my shoes.

Vaughn Haige: There are 3 moments I'll remember 'til the day I die. 1: the look on my father's face when I graduated from Harvard law school. 2: Helping a beached mother whale give birth. And... 3: You and me, together, here, tonight.
Shapely Bartender: Don't speak to me again... ever.

Jenny Johnson: I gotta go to the bathroom.
Matt Saunders: You didn't just go to the bathroom?
Jenny Johnson: Are you keeping track? That's kind of creepy.

[over the phone]
Matt Saunders: What's going on there?
Vaughn Haige: Some big fire on 73rd and Broadway. Everything's burning.
Matt Saunders: Is anyone hurt?
Vaughn Haige: I don't know, probably. It's blocking my way to the gym.
Matt Saunders: All my thoughts are with you in this time of crisis.

[last lines]
Matt Saunders: Wanna get a beer?
Professor Bedlam: Sure, let's do it.

Matt Saunders: If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
Vaughn Haige: The ability to gratify myself orally.
Matt Saunders: Interesting. But wouldn't that be a little...
Matt Saunders, Vaughn Haige: Gay.
Vaughn Haige: No.
Matt Saunders: Yeah.
Vaughn Haige: Not at all. Think about it.
Matt Saunders: Really? It seems that way.

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