Jake: Whatever blows your dress up, darlin'. You go right ahead and spend your money.
Melanie Carmichael: Oh, but darlin', I thought you said we should think of it as "our money."
[Jake stops cold]
Melanie Carmichael: Just a guess: The words *joint checking* are flashing in your head right now.
Melanie Carmichael: And don't even pretend like you missed me.
Jake: Oh, I missed you all right, but at this range, my aim is bound to improve.
Jake: What the hell is this? Chick food?
Melanie Carmichael: Light beer. Less calories.
Jake: You show up here, after seven years, without so much as a "Hey there, Jake, remember me... your wife!" Or a, "Hi honey, lookin' good. How's the family?"
Melanie Carmichael: You expect me to tell you look good? What, did they run out of soap at the Piggly Wiggly since I left?
Melanie Carmichael: I forgot how beautiful it is around here.
Bobby Ray: Guess it doesn't take much for you to forget a lot of things.
Melanie Carmichael: Bobby Ray, it's not like that.
Bobby Ray: No I'll tell you what it's not like. It's not like Jake's the only one 'round here that you run out on.
Mayor Kate Hennings: [smacks mosquito] One down, a six million to go.
Earl Smooter: Careful, you just killed the state bird of Alabama!
[after Melanie tells Andrew that she still loves Jake at the wedding] I've never met anyone so manipulative, so deceitful, and I'm in politics.Mayor Kate Hennings
I better have my lawyer take a look at these. I'm just a simple country boy. There's all kinds of big words in here I can't even pronounce. Hell, you might be takin' me to the cleaners for all I know.Jake
Honey, just cuz I talk slow doesn't mean I'm stupid.Jake
There is nothing wrong with poor people. I get elected by poor people.Mayor Kate Hennings
What ever happened to responsible journalism?Mayor Kate Hennings
Bobby Ray: What'd I ever do to you?
Melanie Carmichael: Oh, you didn't do anything to me, darlin'... or any other girl in town!