[after the Fouchet thug tries to shoot the gun nothing happens and Marcus slams him into a urinal] Next time, learn to work the safety with your punk-ass.

Marcus Burnett

Marcus Burnett: Man, that Budweiser. It felt like I had a million of 'em.
Marcus Burnett: Wassup, motherfucker?

Now that's how you supposed to drive! From now on that's how you drive!

Mike Lowrey

Julie Mott: I don't eat flesh.
Marcus Burnett: Say what?
Julie Mott: That's flesh that you're shoveling into your mouth. You know, that was, like, a living, breathing creature. You know, it probably had a name.
Marcus Burnett: It's just bologna. My bologna has a first name.

Store Clerk: Hey, freeze bitch!
Mike Lowrey: [as he points the gun her way, in a flash Mike and Marcus stop arguing and point their guns at his head] YOU freeze, bitch!
Store Clerk: Oh shit, I'm fucked.
Mike Lowrey: Now back up, put the gun down, and get me a pack of Tropical Fruit Bubblicious.
Marcus Burnett: And some Skittles.

Captain Howard: Until then, until then, you are Mike Lowrey, you be him, that's what you are, you're him.
Marcus Burnett: But I-...
Captain Howard: You're him, I don't wanna hear it, you're him. And you, you're you, you be you, but not in front of her. You're him, you're you.

Marcus Burnett: Hey man where-where-where's your cup holder?
Mike Lowrey: I don't have one.
Marcus Burnett: What the f- w'you mean you don't have one? Eighty thousand dollars for this car and you ain't got no damn cup holder?
Mike Lowrey: It's $105,000 and this happens to be one of the fastest production cars on the planet. Zero to sixty in four seconds, sweetie. It's a limited edition.
Marcus Burnett: You damn right it's limited. No cup holder, no back seat. Just a shiny dick with two chairs in it. I guess we the balls just draggin' the fuck along.

I can't see any situation where I'd send federal troops to the South, ever. It could cause another Civil War.

President Eisenhower

You treat a disease, you win, you lose. You treat a person, I guarantee you, you'll win, no matter what the outcome.

Hunter Patch Adams

A woman is said to be worth her weight in hens. And a man's wealth is measured by the size of his cock.

Armand

It's me! It's me, Alan, Mom and Dad! I'm home! I'm back!

Alan Parrish

[after explaining to Aladdin that he can grant any wish his heart desires] You ain't never had a friend like me!

Genie

FREE Movie Newsletter