Kevin Lomax: Is this a test?
Pam: Isn't everything?

John Milton: Don't get too cocky my boy. No matter how good you are don't ever let them see you coming. That's the gaffe my friend. You gotta keep yourself small. Innocuous. Be the little guy. You know, the nerd... the leper... shit-kickin' surfer. Look at me.
[stops and pauses]
John Milton: Underestimated from day one. You'd never think I was a master of the universe, now would ya?

Kevin Lomax: "Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven", is that it?
John Milton: Why not? I'm here on the ground with my nose in it since the whole thing began. I've nurtured every sensation man's been inspired to have. I cared about what he wanted and I never judged him. Why? Because I never rejected him. In spite of all his imperfections, I'm a fan of man! I'm a humanist. Maybe the last humanist.

Who, in their right mind Kevin, could possibly deny the twentieth century was entirely mine.

John Milton

A woman's shoulders are the front lines of her mystique, and her neck, if she's alive, has all the mystery of a border town. A no-man's land in that battle between the mind and the body.

John Milton

Bill: Ted, it's the Grim Reaper!
Ted: Oh, how's it hangin' Death?

Missy: Spirits, can you hear me?
Ted: Yeah and we can totally see down...
Bill: Ted! That's your mom, dude!

Bill: Hey Ted? Wanna play 20 questions?
Ted: Okay! I got one!
Bill: Is it a mineral?
Ted: Yeah!
Bill: Are you a tank?
Ted: Whoa! Yeah!

You're not strong! You're silky boys! Silk comes from the butts of Chinese Worms!

Colonel Oates

[rapping] You might be a king or a little street sweeper, but sooner or later you'll dance with the reaper.

Grim Reaper

You totally killed us, you evil metal dickweeds!


Bill: Ted, you know, if I die, you can have my Megadeth collection.
Ted: But dude, we are already dead.
Bill: Oh. Well then they're yours, dude.

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