You got to be a stupid motherfucker to get fired on your day off.Smokey
Weed is from the earth. God put this here for me and you. Take advantage man, take advantage.Smokey
I know you don't smoke weed, I know this; but I'm gonna get you high today, 'cause it's Friday; you ain't got no job... and you ain't got shit to do.Smokey
Craig Jones: We ain't got no sugar.
Smokey: No sugar? Damn. Y'all ain't never got two things that match. Either y'all got Kool-aid, no sugar. Peanut butter, no jelly. Ham, no burger. Daaamn.
Smokey: Older the berry, the sweeter the juice.
Craig Jones: Man, it's the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.
Smokey: Yeah, well she blacker than a motherfucker too.
Playing with my money is like playing with my emotions, Smokey.Big Worm
You better get your ass off your shoulders and make that money.Craig Jones
Craig Jones: [points across the street to Mrs. Parker] Look, look, she's bendin' over!
Pastor Clever: Lord have mercy! God is my shepherd, and he knows what I want!
Pastor Clever: [running across the street] Excuse me, Mrs. Parker? Mrs. Parker!
Mrs. Jones: Craig, you know what your problem is? You have no game.
Craig Jones: What do you know about game? I got ALL the game.
Mrs. Jones: Now your father... he has game.
Mr. Jones: [coming out of the bathroom] Don't nobody go in the bathroom for about 35, 45 minutes. Somebody open up a window.
Craig Jones: You call that game?
I grab a dog. I choke him and I kick the shit out of him. All day long got my foot up a dog's ass. Just bang, bang, bang up his ass. That's my pleasure.Mr. Jones
Jehovah's Witness: Are you prepared for Jehovah's return? 'Cause if you're not, we've got a pam...
[Craig slams the door in their faces]
Jehovah's Witness: Well fuck you. Half-dead motherfucker. Come on, sister.
Boy at Bus Stop: [taps a sleeping Hancock] Hancock!
[hits him to wake up]
Boy at Bus Stop: Hancock!
Hancock: What, boy?
Boy at Bus Stop: [points to TV screens] Bad guys.
Hancock: What, you want a cookie? Get the hell out my face.
Boy at Bus Stop: Jackass.
Boy at Bus Stop: You heard me.