Greg Focker: What's the sign for sour milk, 'cause this tastes a little... funky.
Jack Byrnes: That's because that's from Debbie's left breast, Greg.

Dina Byrnes: Sweetheart, do we really have to hurry like this?
Jack Byrnes: Oh, yes. We have to pull a little covert operation here. The bandleader says we've got approximately 23 minutes until it's time to cut the cake.

Pam Byrnes: Did you tell your mother that I'm pregnant? Because she keeps touching my stomach and smiling like that.
Greg Focker: No, I didn't tell her. She guessed.
Pam Byrnes: She what?
Greg Focker: Yeah, and then she told my dad.
Pam Byrnes: Oh, my God.

Greg Focker: Hey, Dad, you shouldn't take Moses into the RV. Jack and Dina have a cat.
Bernie Focker: Oh, Moses is fine. He's perfectly trained.
Greg Focker: Dad, he humps everything that moves.
Roz Focker: [Laughing] He's like your father!
Bernie Focker: I never cheated on you!

Roz Focker: How's your sex life?
Dina Byrnes: I can't tell you that!
Roz Focker: I'm a professional. Dina, I'm a sex therapist specializing in senior sexuality.
Dina Byrnes: I knew those weren't yoga mats!
Roz Focker: No.
Dina Byrnes: Well, we're not twenty five... anymore.
Roz Focker: But you're not dead either! Lots of couples our age lack intimacy...
Dina Byrnes: I didn't say we weren't intimate, there are special occasions. Anniversaries and... well, on our anniversary.
Roz Focker: Oy, neesh geete!
Dina Byrnes: What?
Roz Focker: Not good!

Bernie Focker: You fockerized them!
Roz Focker: Yeah!
Bernie Focker: I'm gonna fockerize you!

Isabel: He is a handsome little Focker!
Jack Byrnes: He's not a Focker.

Greg Focker: You meet some of the... eh... some of the cousins?
Jack Byrnes: I met some, yes. I met some... Dom?
Greg Focker: Yeah, Dom Focker, that's my dad's... uh... first cousin. You meet his kids, Randy and Orny?

Jack Byrnes: Greg, a man reaches a certain age when he realizes what's truly important. Do you know what that is?
Greg Focker: Love, friendship... just love, I think.
Jack Byrnes: His legacy.
Greg Focker: That, too.
Jack Byrnes: If your family's circle joins in my family's circle, they'll form a chain. I can't have a chink in my chain.

Beaumont: I just ain't getting in no goddamn, dirty-ass trunk man. I got a problem with small places.
Ordell Robbie: Well I got a problem with spending ten thousand dollars on ungrateful, peanut-head niggers to get 'em out of jail, but I did it!

Ordell Robbie: This you and me talking, is this like a lawyer-client thing, and you can't repeat nothing I tell you?
Max Cherry: You're not my client until you get busted and I bond you out.
Ordell Robbie: Well, if we ain't got no - what's that shit called? - confidentiality, why should I tell you a thing?
Max Cherry: Because you want me to know what a slick guy you are. You got stewardesses bringing you fifty grand.
Ordell Robbie: Now why would a stewardess be bringing me fifty grand?
Max Cherry: Now you want me to speculate on what you do. My guess is you're in the drug business, except the money's moving the wrong way. Whatever you're into, you seem to be getting away with it, so more power to you.

Beaumont: Man, you must be out of your fuckin' mind if you think I'm gonna get in this dirty-ass trunk.
Ordell Robbie: We ain't going nowhere but to Koreatown, man. You ain't gonna be locked in here no more than ten minutes.
Beaumont: I ain't ridin' in no trunk for no minute, man.

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