Graham: That is a nice gun.
Ria: Well, the car is registered to a Cindy Bradley. And that's not Cindy. That is a William Lewis.
[hands him a wallet]
Ria: Found under the front seat. Hollywood Division.
Graham: Looks like Detective Conklin shot himself the wrong nigga.

Anthony: [as he let go all the Asian people that are in the truck] Look, here's 40 bucks. Buy everybody chop suey.
[an Asian man takes the money and doesn't say anything as he leaves]
Anthony: Dopey fucking Chinaman.

Anthony: No, no, no, take that voodoo-ass thing off of there right now!
Peter: I know you just didn't call St. Christopher voodoo. Man's the patron saint of travelers, dog.
Anthony: You had a conversation with God, huh? What did God say? Go forth, my son, and leave big slobbery suction rings on every dashboard you find? Why the hell do you do that?
Peter: Look at the way your crazy ass drive, then ask me that again!

Becca: [drunkenly making out with Evan] I *so* flirt with you in math.
Evan: Tell me about it. I - same-sies.

Officer Michaels: [out of breath] He's a freak...
[panting]
Officer Michaels: He's the fastest kid alive...

Liquor Store Clerk: Is there a problem here sir?
Fogell: [shakes head] No.
Liquor Store Clerk: [looks down at the spilled beer on the floor] Sir, did you do this?
Fogell: No, no I didn't and you should really clean this up, someone could really hurt themselves
[walks away]
Liquor Store Clerk: [looks down at the floor and shakes his head a little] Fuck my life

Officer Michaels: How old are you McLovin?
Fogell: Old enough.
Officer Michaels: Old enough for what?
Fogell: To party.

Seth: Hey Greg, why don't you go piss your pants?
Greg the Soccer Player: [turning around] That was like 8 years ago, asshole!
Seth: [yelling] People don't forget!

Evan: Yeah chicks go nuts for that... the male camel toe.
Seth: Yea yea! The camel tail.

Fogell: Can we shoot at it?
Officer Slater: I don't know...
[pause]
Officer Slater: Can you?

Well duh dude, this place sucks. But I just worry that one day we're gonna look back at high school and wish we'd done something different.

Charlie Bartlett

Principal Gardner: Charlie, there are more important things than popularity!
Charlie Bartlett: Like what? Cause I'm seventeen. And right now, popularity's pretty damn important!
Principal Gardner: Like what you do with that popularity.

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