Constance Harraway: You wanna tell me what's up?
David Gale: Nothing. Everything. Something profoundly stupid happened last night.
Constance Harraway: I hope you used a condom.
[David looks at Constance]
Constance Harraway: Oh Jesus Christ, David. Was she one of yours?
David Gale: It was Berlin.
Constance Harraway: Oh great! Oh, that's great. I can hear the grapevine now. "They had to suspend her so that Gale could dick her with a conscience." A power differential equals coercion. That is great. You're so weak!
David Gale: You know, you're not my wife, Constance. Thank God!
Constance Harraway: Oh, well, don't worry. It's not a position I aspire to, so fuck you.

David Gale: How do we start?
Bitsey Bloom: We start with... you telling me what I'm doing here.
David Gale: No one who looks through that glass sees a person. They see a crime. I'm not David Gale. I'm a murderer and a rapist... four days shy of his execution.

I'm no more afraid of the Grim Reaper than I am of a Presbyterian on Mother's Day.

Braxton Belyeu

English Teacher: I've never met anyone as great as you. I'm really just always attracted to such dirtbag guys. Some bum, some lying pig.
Drillbit Taylor: Stop it. You were starting to rant a little bit.

Now it isn't all oriental martial arts. Sometimes you give a little mexican judo. As in you don't know who you messin with homes

Drillbit Taylor

Drillbit Taylor: What do you teach?
English Teacher: English.
Drillbit Taylor: My native tongue.

You know what this is? A wing, and you are under it. All three of you, right there.

Drillbit Taylor

Drillbit Taylor: Who do you guys need protection from?
Ryan: Just a highschool bully.

Dick Pepperfield: I am here with owner/player/coach, Jackie Moon, and two of the Flint Tropics Ball girls. Hello ladies.
Jackie Moon: You are a little tongue tied now aren't ya Dick?
Dick Pepperfield: *Laughing* No no no, no no no. Mrs. Pepperfield is watching this, she watches all the broadcasts, and I just want you to know that I have no interest in these ladies what-so-ever. I think they are appalling.

I've never been traded for a washing machine before. Until now.

Ed Monix

I am great at free throws. Seriously, free throws are, like, my best thing.

Jackie Moon

Everybody panic! If you have a small child, use it as a shield! They love tender meat.

Jackie Moon

FREE Movie Newsletter