David Seville: They're savings bonds. In seven years you will get enough money from them to buy something nice.
Alvin: Do you have any that you bought seven years ago?

Alvin: Dave needs a little help from the love doctor.
Theodore: And his assistant.

Claire: This is nice. Just two friends having dinner... no pressure.
Alvin: [the lights turn down, the stereo turns on; "Let's Get It On" begins to play] Boom chicka wow-wow, chicka wow-wow!
[whispering to Dave]
Alvin: Tell her she completes you!

David Seville: [sees Theodore eating something small and brown] Woah Theodore, did you just-?
Alvin: Relax Dave, it's just a raisin.
David Seville: Prove it.
Alvin: [swipes the 'raisin' and eats it] Mmm-hmm.
David Seville: Okay.
Alvin: [he leaves]
Alvin: [quickly spits it out and points a finger at Theodore] Dude, you owe me big time!
Theodore: Oh...

David Seville: [the boys are singing Funky Town] Hey guys, knock it off. It's 3 in the morning.
[Theodore and Simon stop, Alvin continues to sing]
David Seville: Alvin.
[he continues]
David Seville: Alvin.
[he continues]
David Seville: ALVIN!

Nina Brewster: Do you know what it is when you trade sex for money?
Jackie Truman: Advertising!

Unless you have a half-dozen very hard rectangular breasts, we need to talk.

Barry

Marlena Diamond: [a sound, as if caused by an insect's fluttering wings] What was that?
Rob Hawkins: Run! Run! Run! Run!

We cannot go into the middle of the city, we've got to get out of here!

Marlena Diamond

Rob: Still filming?
Hud: Yeah, people are gonna want to know... how it all went down.

[into shaky camera] My name is Robert Hawkins. Approximately seven hours ago some *thing* attacked the city. If you found this, if you're watching this then you probably know more about it than I do.

Rob

Woman: What is that thing?
Officer: I don't know, but whatever it is, it's winning.

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