They say you have a monster. They say your lands are cursed. I am Beowulf, and I will kill your monster.

Beowulf

I don't know what happened! I mean, I just tried to talk to these guys, and then there was a dust buster, a toupee and a life raft exploded... now ones bald ones in a boat and they're both unconscious!

Barry B. Benson

No flying in the house!

Janet Benson

Do you want to win the War on Terror? Yes or no?

Senator Jasper Irving

Fred Claus: Love's complicated.
Willie: It hurts.

You're all fired, in the morning you'll all be on a bus back to Elfistan!

Clyde

[to Fred] You're not Alec!

Stephen Baldwin

Santa's having some trouble getting the sled off the ground?

Fred Claus

So run, you cur... RUN! Tell all the other curs the law's comin' [shouts] You tell 'em I'M COMING ... and hell's coming with me, you hear?... Hell's coming with me!

Wyatt Earp

In all that time workin' those cow towns, I was only ever mixed up in one shootin', just one! But a man lost his life and I took it! You don't know how that feels, and believe me boy, you don't ever want to know. Not ever!

Wyatt Earp

Johnny Tyler: You run your mouth awful reckless for a man that don't go heeled.
Wyatt Earp: No need to go heeled to get the bulge on a tub like you.

Doc Holliday: Why Johnny Tyler! You madcap!
Johnny Tyler: Doc?
Doc Holliday: Where you goin' with that shotgun?

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