William Parrish: You want me to be your guide?
Joe Black: You fit the bill, Bill.
When I introduce you, and I tell them who you are, I don't think anyone will stay for dinner.William Parrish
Drew: And who would've thought... you, an IRS agent.
Joe Black: Death and Taxes.
Don't blow smoke up my ass, it will ruin my autopsy.William Parrish
Careful Bill, you'll give yourself a heart attack and ruin my vacation.Joe Black
Maggie Witzky: LISA?
Lisa: You impregnated my sister again.
Maggie Witzky: BITCH!
Lisa: I thought you wanted me to tell him.
Maggie Witzky: Why, because I said don't?
Tom Witzky: What'd I do this time?
Lisa: Should I tell him?
Maggie Witzky: If you wanna die!
Lisa: Well, your beer-addled sperm still works.
WHY ARE YOU DIGGING?Maggie Witzky
Don't be afraid of it, Daddy.Jake Witzky
I'm supposed to dig.Tom
Maggie Witzky: She's a witch. She took one look at me and guessed. Well, say something.
Tom Witzky: Bummer.
Maggie Witzky: Something else.