HEY! What'cha doing? We're just here to buy a little dinner! You don't have to punch everything!


Lightning: Hey Webster, show a little respect!
Dante Slate, Jr.: I choose to believe that you just called me Webster because of my dictionary-sized vocabulary, NOT because of my height and race!
Lightning: Nope, it's because you're short and black!
Dante Slate, Jr.: What was Jesus like? I'm curious. Was he cool?

Keep it secret! Keep it safe!

Bard the Bowman

What was it he promised you, a share of the treasure! I will not part with a single piece!


Dwalin: [on Bard] I don't care what he calls himself, I don't like him.
Balin: We do not have to like him, we simply have to pay him!

Percy: [When Bard approaches Laketown in his ship] Halt! Goods inspection. Papers please!... Oh, it's you, Bard!
Bard the Bowman: Morning, Percy.
Percy: Anything to declare?
Bard the Bowman: Nothing. But I am cold and tired, and ready for home.
Percy: You and me both.

Such is the nature of evil. Out there in the vast ignorance of the world it festers and spreads. A shadow that grows in the dark. A sleepless malice as black as the oncoming wall of night. So it ever was. So will it always be. In time all foul things come forth.


If you awaken that beast, you'll destroy us all!

Bard the Bowman

Do not think I won't kill you, dwarf!


Thorin Oakenshield: Here! You witless worm!
Smaug: YOU!
Thorin Oakenshield: I'm taking back what you stole.
Smaug: You will take NOTHING from me, dwarf. I laid low your warriors of old. I instilled terror in the hearts of men. I AM KING UNDER THE MOUNTAIN!
Thorin Oakenshield: This is not your kingdom! These are dwarf lands. This is dwarf gold! And we will have our revenge!

Bard the Bowman: You have no right to enter that mountain!
Thorin Oakenshield: I have the ONLY right!

All of you! Listen to me! You must listen! Have you forgotten what happened to Dale? Have you forgotten those who died in the firestorm? And for what purpose? The blind ambition of a Mountain King, so riveted by greed he cannot see beyond his own desire!

Bard the Bowman

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