Jane Winslett-Richardson: I need to find a baby for this father.
Steve Zissou: Yeah, I think I know what you mean.

Steve Zissou: Anne-Marie, do all the interns get Glocks?
Anne-Marie Sakowitz: No, they all share one.

Don't point that gun at him, he's an unpaid intern.

Steve Zissou

Who the shit is Kingsley Zissou?

Klaus Daimler

I'm going to find it and I'm going to destroy it. I don't know how yet. Possibly with dynamite.

Steve Zissou

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go on an overnight drunk, and in 10 days I'm going to set out to find the shark that ate my friend and destroy it. Anyone who wants to tag along is more than welcome.

Steve Zissou

Festival Director: [translating] That's an endangered species at most. What would be the scientific purpose of killing it?
Steve Zissou: Revenge.

Steve Zissou: We'll split into two groups. I'll take Ned, Ogata, and Wolodarsky.
Klaus Daimler: Thanks. Thanks a lot for not picking me.

[after he faked a terminal illness, took residence in the house under false pretenses, tried to instigate a fight with his estranged wife's fiancé, lied to his family and was found out] I know I'm going to be the bad guy here...

Royal

Chas: Are you okay?
Royal: Fuck do you care?

[Telling everybody that Royal doesn't have cancer] I know what stomach cancer looks like. I've seen it, and you don't eat three cheeseburgers a day with french fries when you got it.

Henry Sherman

Hell of a damn grave. Wish it were mine.

Royal

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